Fiction seems like truth at times – The Blue Suit

By JOSH RESNEK
I’m really upset,” the mayor’s Blue suit said to me earlier this week.
‘What’s bothering you?” I asked.
“He is,” the Blue Suit answered. “The mayor says one thing and does another when no one is looking.”
“He’s a hypocrite,” he added.
“Did you just find that out?” I asked.
“No. I’ve known for a long time. It’s kind of hard to take. He is, after all, supposed to be the leader of the city. Everyone is supposed to look up to him. He is supposed to set the right example in public and private, but he doesn’t. He is two people, a regular Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde,” the Blue Suit said.
“He makes me uncomfortable. It is difficult to trust him to do the right thing. There are times when I wish I could be taken off and thrown into the trash, that’s how uneasy he makes me feel. But he would never do that unless someone else was paying to buy him a new suit.”
“What has set you off this week? Tell me, please.”
“It’s about him wearing a facemask,” the Blue Suit said.
“So?” I answered. ‘What about it?”
“He only uses the facemask when he knows others will be watching or the press is around. It makes me upset. I don’t believe he believes in the virus. He reminds me of President Trump, which figures. The mayor knows more about cigars than science. He is more concerned about his popularity and control over men and women who work for him than caring about their competency or whether or not they respect him. Winning is all that matters to him. Controlling people, attacking them, ultimately
The Pride Flag raising at tossing nearly everyone Everett City Hall in June under the bus when their use to him has expired is what he is all about.”
“I know what I’m talking about, Josh,” the Blue Suit complained.
“The more I think about, the more he seems like Trump to me.”
“You know the mayor’s favorite two word phrase? ‘You’re fired!’” the Blue Suit said to me.

“Just like Trump in ‘The Apprentice’.”
‘When you come right down to it, I know he really hates most people which makes me think he hates himself. He loves to hate is the way I’d put it. He hates you. He hates anyone disagreeing with him. I know he hates a number of councilors, and one of them especially who is a woman. He privately hates even those few people who profess to be his friends.”
“What a fraud,” the Blue Suit added.
“I laugh every time he has one of those flag raisings at city hall.”
“The gay flag was raised a month back.”
“The mayor was front and center taking all the credit for raising the flag. What hypocrisy. Truth be known. He can’t stand gay people. He makes bad gay jokes all the time with his cronies. They all have a good laugh every time. It’s sickening he thinks like that in this day and age.”
“He doesn’t like assertive women, either.”
“Just last week the mayor raised the Brazilian flag at city hall. Truth be known, he cares not at all for the Brazilians. They’re not real Everett people to him.”
“He doesn’t like the Spanish speaking, either. He thinks they’re useless.”
“More than once I’ve heard him recently joke with someone you’d know that he wished he could take a carload of free food to his mansion…just like the Spanish speaking.”
“He probably hates the Spanish speaking because they think his name is Carlos. Steve Wynn used to call him Carlos. It drove him crazy.”
‘” Not paying for food is wonderful. I never pay for anything unless I am forced to’, I heard him say.”
“We all know this about him. He is famous for letting others pick up the tab or not paying at all. He just did it again last weekend at a golf tournament…refusing to pay, that is.”
“He says bad things about you. He gets especially sick when he talks about you. He says obscene and racist things about you I can’t repeat here.”
The Blue Suit took a deep breath and let it out.
“When the mayor does this, when he takes a deep breath, I grow about two sizes. I am stretched to bursting and my buttons almost come off.”
He calmed down.
He began again.
“Remember when we were on the Cape at the beach for a long weekend last summer when the mayor conducted a wedding and got his picture and name in the papers?” the Blue Suit asked me.
“Of course. Who doesn’t remember that,” I answered.
“News of that marriage conducted by the mayor was everywhere. He loved it. I was loving it until…”
“Until what?” I asked the Blue Suit.
“Until the ceremony the mayor conducted. You know the mayor didn’t wear a mask. He didn’t social distance. The man and woman he married – both surgeons – guess what – they didn’t wear masks, either! What the hell is that all about?” the Blue suit asked.
“The worst part of this is when the ceremony ended. The mayor pulled the groom aside.
“’That’s gonna cost you $250 bucks. I mean I don’t do this kind of thing for nothing. Can you imagine what a justice of the peace or a member of the clergy who did this special for you would charge. Had to call the governor to get permission. That’s worth more than a thank you. Two hundred and fifty is cheap. I prefer cash. Two hundred and fifty is a bargain. It’s an epidemic bargain,’” the mayor said to the groom, the Blue Suit told me.
“You’ve got to be kidding me!” I exclaimed.
“You look like you’re in disbelief,” the Blue Suit said to me. In fact, I was in disbelief.
“I finally got you!” the Blue Suit blurted out.
“You actually believed me about the mayor charging $250 for the wedding, didn’t you?” he asked me.
“Yes, I did to tell you the truth.”
“See that Josh, fiction seems like truth at times.”
“You’ve got that right,” I added.
“Don’t do that again, please,” I said to the Blue Suit.
The Blue suit laughed.
“The mayor has done much worse than that, much worse.
His racism is worse than his hypocrisy. You can’t imagine how bad it gets with him, Josh.”
“Yes, I can.”