“What does the mayor really want more than anything else?”
By JOSH RESNEK

I was able to steal the Blue Suit for a few hours earlier this week.
I took him to DeBlasi’s where I got him two extra-large meatball subs with extra cheese and sauce.
He ate them both in my car parked in the lot for the Dunkin’ Donuts on Broadway near city hall. He wolfed down the meatball subs like some of us drink a glass of water when we’re thirsty. No one saw us. I bought him coffee with Splendor and three honey-dipped donuts for dessert. The Blue Suit loves donuts. He gobbled them down.
“I love Crispy Cremes if you want to know the truth,” the Blue Suit confided in me as he wiped away crumbs from his pants.
“Who doesn’t love Crispy Cremes,” I replied.
“You know he’s been wearing me out?” the Blue Suit said about the mayor. “What’s worse is when he refuses to feed me properly,” he added. “He’s not eating as much as he used to, so I don’t get fed as much. He’s still heavy. It’s crazy bad for my pants when he sits down. I feel as though I am being crushed. It’s hard for me to breathe. He doesn’t care. I know he doesn’t. I know how he thinks. I know what he thinks about. I know who he wants to be and what makes him tick. It’s a real jumble up there” the Blue Suit said to me of the mayor.
“Let’s talk about those things for a few minutes,” I suggested.
“You say you know what he thinks about. Tell me, what does the mayor think about?” I asked.
“I know he thinks about you. You are definitely inside his head big time,” the Blue Suit said.
“Come on. He’s got to have something better to think about than me.” The Blue Suit chuckled.
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